But checking in.
I'm behind in my grading and midterm is a week from today. It's that darn grammar/vocabulary test where I made them correct the sentences and write examples for the words. What was I thinking? Oh, yeah. I wanted them to have to show me what they understood. Temporary insanity, obviously.
My mother is happy. I made my doctor's appointment for this Friday. I know she's worried because she keeps coming over while I'm at work and cleaning. If my mom is taking care of me, I'm not hiding things well. That's scary.
The DH scared me worse. DH thinks I'm Superwoman Who Can Do Anything. He didn't a clingy Southern bride, and he didn't get one. But. We had not much to do this weekend, and when I wasn't doing the little we had to do, I was sleeping. Hours of it. Not so much because I was tired, but as an escape mechanism. Not good, as one of my favorite students says. So. Yesterday, he makes me promise that I'll follow through on making the household journal -- the one with all the bill due dates, the user names and passwords for paying said bills, what he'd need to know about our Monsters on a daily basis. I'm like, What? At the same time, I'm grousing about having to take a half day to go to the doctor -- sub plans are a big B. And he gives me the look and says, "Lin, look. It's either a half day now or several days later. Your choice." I know what he's getting at. He thinks I'm going to hit the wall and need one of those "exhaustion" breaks that actors and musicians take. And if he's worried about me? That's worse than my mom worrying about me.
So. I'm gonna grade papers. That's my focus. And see the physician on Friday. Get some sleep in the meantime. And not worry that I feel numb, rather than all the other emotions I've had roiling around the last few months.
And I'll work on returning to active duty here.