Scenes from St. Augustine: View down the stairs at the St. Augustine Lighthouse (if you're a Ghosthunters fan, you know Jay and Grant ran up and down these stairs, chasing a "shadow" later seen to peek over at the cameras, just as I'm doing here). Those are my toes, not the ghost's toes.
The photo seemed apt, since I'm hitting the "taking stock" point. I hate this, by the way. I don't know why. I don't have difficulty doing this in the teaching career. There is a very concrete plan for that and I take stock on that plan, on my classroom plan pretty regularly. Ditto on the house renovations. There's a plan, I know the plan, I work the plan, I monitor the plan.
But in this terms of taking stock, I feel lost, almost like I'm almost endlessly circling those steps above, not sure where I'm going, not sure if I'm going in the right direction. I think it comes down to not knowing for sure what I want. What do I want? Is the thing I'm currently seeking what I want or merely what I think I'm supposed to want, because everyone expects you to want that? If I do want it, why do I want it? And what if I want something else entirely and don't know it?
And once I figure out what I want, how do I get there?
Then I get into the need vs. want. What if I what I need is at odds with what I want? What then? And how do I know the difference?
It's enough to make my head hurt. But I really have to get a handle on this. I'm not good at simply flailing around without a plan.
So tell me . . . how do you figure out what you want and need? Help me out here. ;-)
Word count check: 40,211
Whoo! That's past the halfway point!