Sunday, September 28, 2008

Holding Patterns

Scenes from St. Augustine -- Pretty tame white peacock at the Fountain of Youth. Yes, the displays are a little dated and a tad hokey, but the planetarium is awesome and the grounds (14 acres of them) are beautiful. It's shady and a great place to spend a hot afternoon in the Oldest City.

I know I've been very cryptic lately about being at a crossroads and not knowing where to go. I'm struggling with what I want to do once my masters is finished in June -- do I want to teach at a different school? Do I want to apply for a different position, one that would take me out of the classroom?

I once made a huge, three-year-long career mistake, and I'm terrified of making another one. Sometimes I think I let that fear of change and the fear of making mistakes hold me back from what I'm supposed to do. Then I think that . . . well, I think a lot of things, none of which are making much sense. Lately my head has been this big hamster wheel that goes nowhere. I even started making charts of pros and cons, and still I'm nowhere near being out of the holding pattern (yes, I know -- I'm mixing metaphors everywhere. I told you my brain was on the fritz!). Why, you ask, am I even worrying about this in September? Because if I want to apply at other schools or for other positions, my resume has to go out in January. I'm trying to figure out if my niggling sense of dissatisfaction means I need something different or if . . . I don't know.

See? Nowhere near an answer. I guess I can just get used to this holding pattern for a few more weeks, until my brain decides it wants to work on making decisions.

What are you up to this lovely September Sunday morning?

3 comments:

Amie Stuart said...

I'm editing next year's book :)

See now, here's my thought, cuz you know I have opinions LOL

Apply. What have you got to lose? THEN if you're offered a job, make a decission heeh.

Linda Winfree said...

I'm revising next year's book. Actually, I'm grading this week's work, then revising next year's book. ;-)

See, there's really not even a question about applying. I'm pretty sure there's even a question about teaching somewhere else. We're talking a salary difference equal to the earnout on a H/S book. Even after gas, extra taxes, etc., I'm looking at several hundred more dollars a month. The question becomes is the $$$ and what that means for my kids worth more than the time I get with them b/c we're on the same campus close to our home. Would not having to struggle monetarily be worth that? It's what the great and wise Joey Lee calls the quality vs. quantity question. ;-)

Esther said...

I've made several large career changes over the years (left a corporate job on the east coast to take a summer job in CA, left a full time management job and went back to part time teaching) and I know what you mean about the hamster wheel. Typically, at some point I tell myself to sshhh (how do you spell that?) and listen to that quiet voice inside. It's been right for me so far!