Sunday, September 28, 2008

Holding Patterns

Scenes from St. Augustine -- Pretty tame white peacock at the Fountain of Youth. Yes, the displays are a little dated and a tad hokey, but the planetarium is awesome and the grounds (14 acres of them) are beautiful. It's shady and a great place to spend a hot afternoon in the Oldest City.

I know I've been very cryptic lately about being at a crossroads and not knowing where to go. I'm struggling with what I want to do once my masters is finished in June -- do I want to teach at a different school? Do I want to apply for a different position, one that would take me out of the classroom?

I once made a huge, three-year-long career mistake, and I'm terrified of making another one. Sometimes I think I let that fear of change and the fear of making mistakes hold me back from what I'm supposed to do. Then I think that . . . well, I think a lot of things, none of which are making much sense. Lately my head has been this big hamster wheel that goes nowhere. I even started making charts of pros and cons, and still I'm nowhere near being out of the holding pattern (yes, I know -- I'm mixing metaphors everywhere. I told you my brain was on the fritz!). Why, you ask, am I even worrying about this in September? Because if I want to apply at other schools or for other positions, my resume has to go out in January. I'm trying to figure out if my niggling sense of dissatisfaction means I need something different or if . . . I don't know.

See? Nowhere near an answer. I guess I can just get used to this holding pattern for a few more weeks, until my brain decides it wants to work on making decisions.

What are you up to this lovely September Sunday morning?


Amie Stuart said...

I'm editing next year's book :)

See now, here's my thought, cuz you know I have opinions LOL

Apply. What have you got to lose? THEN if you're offered a job, make a decission heeh.

Linda Winfree said...

I'm revising next year's book. Actually, I'm grading this week's work, then revising next year's book. ;-)

See, there's really not even a question about applying. I'm pretty sure there's even a question about teaching somewhere else. We're talking a salary difference equal to the earnout on a H/S book. Even after gas, extra taxes, etc., I'm looking at several hundred more dollars a month. The question becomes is the $$$ and what that means for my kids worth more than the time I get with them b/c we're on the same campus close to our home. Would not having to struggle monetarily be worth that? It's what the great and wise Joey Lee calls the quality vs. quantity question. ;-)

Esther said...

I've made several large career changes over the years (left a corporate job on the east coast to take a summer job in CA, left a full time management job and went back to part time teaching) and I know what you mean about the hamster wheel. Typically, at some point I tell myself to sshhh (how do you spell that?) and listen to that quiet voice inside. It's been right for me so far!